The Organization Adventure
by sharinganrivers
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the personal life of Organization XIII is like? Well I'll tell you, it's not pretty. Horrible things happen and no one can stop them. If you get the chance Read and Review.
1. Chapter I: An Odd Beginning

Chapter I

A/N: This is my first fanfic so be brutally honest. I wrote the fic in play format, this was just more comfortable for me. I will however edit my fic to normal story format like most of the other fics ( I could have sworn I read one fic in play format) if a lot of people want me to. If no one cares or they like it I'll keep the format the way it is. My homie byakuganwalker assisted me in typing this fic. Hold on there "byakuganwalker" how the hell did you get on my computer? (seriously he did help me a bit with my fanfic) This fic is as you might have surmised by now is a crackfic, so if you don't like laughing or you just don't like crackfics then get the hell away from my story. Enjoy. Fuckers.

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Xemnas: "Wheee! Faster Lexeaus, faster! Faster I say." Xemnas exclaimed as he rode around on Lexeaus' back through town. "Yay! Faster and faster still!"

Lexeaus: "Son of a bitch Xemnas, I didn't say you could ride on my back!"

Xemnas: (**with a satisfied sigh)** "Yeah." "Even faster. Ha ha ha ha! Faster damn it!" (**Xemnas then began to whip Lexeaus with a jockey whip he seemed to pull out of nowhere.)**

Lexeaus: What--ow! Where the--ow hell did--ow that come from--ow?

Xemnas: "I had it in my cloak the whole time. Isn't it great?"

Lexeaus: "No!"

Xemnas: "Sure it is, take another look at it."

Lexeaus: Hell no.

Xemnas: "Nonsense."

Lexeaus: "That's it!" (**Lexeaus dropped Xemnas on the ground)**

Xemnas: "Oh no you don't!" (**And with that Xemnas leaped back on onto** **Lexeaus's back)** "I paid you and your going to carry me through town."

Lexeaus: "Not on my back!"

Xemnas: "Yes on your back, you didn't say I couldn't."

Lexeaus: "Yes I did, over and over again. You don't remember?"

Xemnas: "No."

Lexeaus: "Oh really?"

_FLASHBACK:_

Xemnas: "Hey Lexeaus if I paid you would you carry me through town?"

Lexeaus: "N--how much?"

Xemnas: "$100."

Lexeaus: "$300."

Xemnas: "$600."

Lexeaus: "That's twice what I asked for."

Xemnas: "Okay $500, $50, $2000, $800, $300 and not a penny more."

Lexeaus: "What?"

Xigbar: "H-he doesn't know how to haggle. You should know that by now."

Lexeaus: "Hmm… Alright fine but I'm not carrying you on my back."

Xemnas: Yeah, sure, whatever."

_PRESENT:_

Xemnas: " I don't remember that."

Lexeaus: "You don't?"

Xemnas: "No, not really, no."

Lexeaus: "You just said yeah a minute ago like you remembered."

Xemnas: "No I didn't."

Lexeaus: "Yes you did!"

Xemnas: "I don't think so."

Lexeaus: **(frustrated)** "Okay but you do remember when you asked me about carrying you right?"

Xemnas: "Yep."

Lexeaus: "And you don't remember me saying not on my back?"

Xemnas: "No I don't seem to recall."

Lexeaus: "Oh really?"

**Lexeaus then pulled out a tape recorder from his cloak and pressed play.**

**With a static noise, the tape recorder began playing.**

Lexeaus: "Hmm…Alright but I'm not carrying you on my back."

Xemnas: "Yeah sure, whatever."

Xemnas: "When did that happen?"

Lexeaus: "This morning!"

Xemnas: "Huh. I don't remember that."

Lexeaus: "Come on."

Xemnas followed Lexeaus down to the electronics store to prolong the complete stupidity of this fic. Lexeaus then pulled a tape out of his cloak, shoved it in a random VCR and pressed play. He and Xemnas looked up to one of the many TV sets around as the tape rolled.

Xemnas: "Hey Lexeaus… 

Xemnas: "Yeah, that's not me. I mean that's clearly not me."

Lexeaus: "Oh it's not?"

Xemnas: "Yeah I mean look at that guy. Look at that ugly dumb looking man and that shadowed silver hair that looks like it goes 'WHOOSH' in the east winds, and those devious brown eyes that suggest an air of education. As matter of fact, I think you placed me in your location during the video.

Lexeaus: "You don't know what location means…"

Xemnas: "Yeah I do, 2+2 fish!"

Lexeaus: "How in the hell does 2+2 fish?"

Xemnas: "It's simple, all you do is add this to this, divide by that and multiply this by 5 and—"

Lexeaus: "Where the hell do multiplication and division come into the equation? You're only adding two numbers!"

Xemnas: "Yep, Cloud and Sephiroth.

Lexeaus: "Go to Hell Xemnas."

And with that he walked out of the store and back toward town.

Xemnas: "Hey get back here. You still have to carry me, damn you! Don't pretend you can't hear me! Motherfucker I see you getting in that taxi. Wh— flip me off…!? I know where you live! My house!

--- A/N: Please remember to tell me how you like the format of the story 


	2. Chapter II: Meeting the Rest of the Gang

**Chapter II**

**A/N: You guys liked my first chapter so much I decided to bring the boys back. Ha ha ha ha. Oh you guys are just going to have so much fun. Sorry about the black spots and squiggly lines I'll try to fix it if I can. It should be fixed in this chapter hopefully. So until you finish reading this chapter (evil voice) don't you walk away from your computer. I believe you'll love this one better than my last chapter. Remember to review. Ha ha ha (evil voice) or I'll fucking kill you!**

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Xigbar: "Oh and where have you been?"

**As Xigbar asked this as Xemnas and Lexeaus walked through the door of the mansion that Organization XIII bought recently, Xemnas slammed the door closed, locked it and ran toward the window in a panic.**

Xemnas: (**peering through the blinds suspiciously)** "We were attacked by senior citizens!"

Xigbar: "Senior citizens huh, what did you do this time?"

Xemnas: "What do you mean this time?"

Xigbar: "Remember that time you attacked that guy because you were "cracking down on crime"? "

Xemnas: "I had a very good reason!"

Xigbar: "What?"

Xemnas: "He bored me."

Xigbar: "Okay, first of all that's not a good reason to beat him up and second he was telling you that there was a mad axe-man behind you. You got "bored" called him stupid and walked away. After you left the guy with the axe sliced the other guy clean in half."

Xemnas: "Okay, then give me another good reason it wasn't right to beat him up."

Xigbar: "It was the fruit festival."

Xemnas: "No it wasn't."

Xigbar: "Yes it was. There were banners up all week. There are banners up now, look."

Xemnas: "Huh. You'd think I'd notice them."

Xigbar: "Fucking dumb ass."

Xemnas: "Fuck you Demyx."

Demyx: "I didn't even say anything."

Xemnas: "You were thinking it."

Demyx: (**whispering to Zexion)** I don't like Xemnas anymore, he reads minds."

Zexion: "Fascinating."

**Just then Xaldin came into the room. For some reason he was skulking about the room, trying to sneak behind Xemnas. It then became apparent to Zexion why when Xaldin came closer. Quickly and quietly Zexion asked Xaldin…**

Zexion: "What's with the syringe?"

Xaldin: "It's Xemnas' medication."

Zexion: "Right the medication. The one we give to Xemnas. Xemnas' medication. Uh, that medication?"

Xaldin: "Yes that medication!"

Zexion: "Okay, okay, take it easy."

Vexen: "Well give him the medication before he gets out of hand again."

Xemnas: (**crazed manner)** Give who medication?!!"

Xaldin: "Oh crap, he heard us."

Xigbar: "Us?"

Zexion: "Doesn't matter. Jump him!"

Xemnas: "HA ha! You'll never catch me!"

Xaldin: "Come on now Xemnas. Time to go night night."

Xemnas: "Never! Xemnas goes night night when he wants to!"

**For the next three hours, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexeaus, and Zexion chased Xemnas around the mansion. Then Xemnas just seemed to disappear.**

Xaldin: "God damn it! I forgot he could walk through walls."

Zexion: If he could walk through walls why the hell were we chasing him through the damn house?!"

Xaldin: "I don't know, just find him before he does something retarded. Again."

Vexen: "We should have put a tracker in his skull like I wanted."

Xigbar: (drinking coffee) "You know that would only lead to lawsuits and unwanted questions. Again."

Zexion: "You mean like with the land sharks?"

Vexen: "Hey, there is no real proof that my sharks ate those kids."

Zexion: You mean besides the security cameras?"

**Just then everyone heard a loud manic laugh outside.**

Xemnas: "Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! I'm free at last!"

Lexeaus: "Oh great he's loose. Again. I got it! Hold on everyone I'll call Ansem."

**everyone stares**

Lexeaus: "Ansem the Wise?"

**everyone continues to stare**

Lexeaus: "The blond guy."

**pause**

Zexion: "Luxord?"

Lexeaus: "What? No, not Luxord."

Xigbar: "Luxord's blond."

Lexeaus: "Our former master, Ansem."

Everyone: Ohhhhhhh.

Xaldin: "That was my next guess."

Lexeaus: "Idiots. **(pulls a cell phone out of his cloak and dials a number)** Yeah, hello? Ansem? Oh man am I glad It's you. Look we need some help. We fucked up. Xemnas is missing."

Ansem: "Hey I've got problems too. I'm in the Bahamas at a fabulous resort."

Lexeaus: "How is that a problem?"

Ansem: "I dropped my cookie."

**All of a sudden the maid in the room runs up and places her hand on the cookie. Ansem pulled out a gun pointed it at her and said…**

Ansem: "You sure you want to risk it?"

**She ran out of the room**

Lexeaus: "Wait you dropped your cookie?"

Ansem: "I'm lying in bed."

Lexeaus: "Ah."

Ansem: "Yeah so, jeez, I'd like to help you but I'm kind of busy right now. So just do the best you can. Tell everyone I sent the check. O.K. see ya. Now then were we?"

woman: "Right about here." **(holds up a condom)**

Ansem: "Aww come on baby. It's my birthday."

Lexeaus: "Well Ansem's out of the question."

Zexion: "You know the more we wait the more damage Xemnas does."

**An explosion occurs outside**

Xigbar: "I can see smoke coming from the park."

Xaldin: "My clubhouse!!!"

Vexen: "All right everyone get you equipment and some nickels."

Zexion: "You mean our weapons?"

Vexen: **(dramatic pause and stare)** "The very ones."

Xigbar: "Why do we need nickels?"

Vexen: "Eh, I feel like going to the arcade."

**As Ansem's apprentices gathered they're weapons—Xigbar his gun arrows, Xaldin his lances, Vexen his shield, Lexeaus his tomahawk, Zexion his book—Demyx called out to them…**

Demyx: "So I'll just hold down the fort then?"

Xigbar: "Yeah you do that."

Demyx: "Cool. Hmm…oh wait Larxene's not here…oh well I gotta find out where the porn channel and some Mountain Dew is cause I'm fucking something…"

**After everyone left Demyx walked over to the reclining chair and picked up a TV Guide book and perused it for a bit. He then put it down, picked up the telephone, dialed a number and sat and let it ring for a few seconds. Then when someone picked up he said…**

Demyx: "Hello, Byakugan productions…yes I'm looking for—yeah that's right okay so what's the number? Okay thanks. Bye **(hangs up phone and** **picks it back up and dials another number…) **Hello, playboy channel….

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**A/N: Well this turned out interesting. Let's see how things turn out in the next Chapter.**


	3. Chapter III: A Day with Ice Cream

**Chapter III**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys I really appreciated them. Douche bags. Well whatever, those of you who did like my fic you'll enjoy Chapter III here. And if you don't like Chapter III much then don't worry, Chapter IV will be much… more…entertaining. Yeah. Byakuganwalker is officially of this project. He just keeps messing with everything. And that is something that I just don't approve of. Well—enjoy. Assholes. Read and review as always.**

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**When everyone got into town they looked around for Xemnas. They didn't have far or long to look.**

Vexen: "Aha! There he goes into that bookstore!"

Zexion: "Xemnas no!! You can't read!"

Xemnas: "Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!" **(Xemnas screamed as if he were on fire. Then he ran outside panting as if he had run a mile. He then leaned against Xigbar panting very deeply.)**

Xigbar: "Was it bad?"

Xemnas: "There was…educational television. Little children, and I think I saw the teletubbies. Oh my God it was horrible. They were fat and ugly and you couldn't understand what they were saying. They kept trying to give me this tubbie custard shit. And that vacuum cleaning dog thing was there; my God it is so useless. By the way I'm not allowed at the bookstore anymore."

Zexion: "Huh. T.V. in a bookstore, that's a new one."

Xemnas: It's even worse. There were these rectangle shaped things, with,with—

Vexen: "Words?"

Xemnas: "Yeah, that's it! Oh man, they hurt my head." **(He put a hand to his head as if he had a headache.)**

Xaldin: They're called books Xemnas."

Xemnas: "What's a book?"

Lexeaus: "Something you read."

Xemnas: "R—eeadd. What's that?"

Xigbar: "It's when you do this." (He took Zexion's book and pretended to read.) "See?"

Xemnas: "Oh." **(Then a look of realization mixed with a blank stare stole** **over his face.)** "Ugh, you know I can't—do that thing with the words."

Zexion: "Read?"

Xemnas: "Just saying it hurts my head."

Xigbar: "It's true. Look at his forehead. You can see a vain about to burst."

Vexen: "Fascinating."

Xemnas: "OWW!!"

Xaldin: "There you go. All fixed up now."

Xemnas: "Bitch."

Lexeaus: **(holding a knife and fork)** "What, so we're not eating Xemnas now?"

Xaldin: "Not right now."

Lexeaus: "God damn it."

Zexion: "So now what?"

Xemnas: "Well I don't know about you but I'm going to school."

Lexeaus: "Oh that's right, I forgot we had to do orientation at the local school today."

Vexen: "Well then what are we waiting for? Let's roll boys.

Xemnas: "Hey I'm the leader here. Let's roll toys."

Xigbar: "Did you just call us toys?"

Xemnas: "Just do what the guy said."

**(With that Xemnas, Xigbar, Xalidn, Vexen, Lexeaus, and Zexion made their way down to the local elementary school, so they could lecture the children. As they were walking down the street they came upon a rather large group of senior citizens.)**

Xemnas: "Uh-oh."

Xigbar: "What's uh-oh?"

Xemnas: "It's the senior citizens I told you about."

Xigbar: "The ones that attacked you?"

Xemnas: "Yes! Where have you been?"

Xigbar: "On an acid trip."

Xemnas: **(pause)**"Right."

Senior citizen 1: "Hey! There's that prejudice son of a bitch what attacked us!"

Xaldin: "Prejudice?"

Xemnas: "All I said is that old people should be killed because there slow, incompetent, forgetful and bad drivers."

Vexen: "All traits shared by you Xemnas. Especially the bad driver part."

Lexeaus: "The poor children they never had a chance. That bull-dozer came out of nowhere."

Xigbar: "Wait, Xemnas if you attacked them then why were you all surprised and suspicious when you came in the mansion?"

Xemnas: "I didn't expect them to attack. Especially after I took away their medication and various means of transportation. Like walkers and canes."

Xigbar: "You asshole."

senior citizen 2: "Get 'em!"

Xemnas: **(shrieks like Homer Simpson)** "Alright guys looks like we have to fight our way out of this. Guys?"

Vexen and the others left 

Xemnas: "What? Oh no!! Help!! They smell like prunes and old folks' homes!"

**Down at the ice-cream shop…**

Zexion: "Think we should help him?"

Vexen: "No, he's good."

**Just then Xemnas came**

Xemnas: "What the fuck?"

Lexeaus: "Hey Xemnas. You made it man."

Xemnas: "Yeah no thanks to you assholes."

Xaldin: "We were hungry. They had Oreo flavored ice-cream."

Xemnas: "And that's a good reason to leave me?"

everyone: "Yes."

Xemnas: **(in audible whisper)** "Damn it, they're right. Well I want ice-cream to damn it."

Zexion: "Yeah sure, here you go."

Xemnas: "Ah, my favorite. Sky-pepper ice cream. **(angrily)** Not like that crappy sea-salt ice cream."

Lexeaus: "I got poison berry flavored ice cream."

Vexen: "Don't you mean boison berry?"

Lexeaus: **(purple foam oozing out of his mouth)** "Nope."

Vexen: "Well as for me I got black tar ice-cream."

Xemnas: "It looks just like chocolate."

Vexen: "Chocolate?"

Zexion: "Well I'm eating sherbert ice-cream, with gummy worms."

Xigbar: "Should the worms be moving in and out of the ice-cream like that?"

Zexion: "Should what be doing what?"

Xaldin: **(interrupting Zexion)** "I've got electric sour ice-cream."

Zexion: "What's so electric about it?"

Xaldin: "It's atomic-ly sour. So says the ad for it."

Xaldin took a like of his ice cream and his tongue shriveled up 

Xigbar: "Holy shit."

Xaldin: "Mmm. Tasty."

**Xaldin took a whole bite—and his face imploded. E.g. his face was being sucked into his mouth**

Xigbar: "How's it taste Xaldin?"

Xaldin: **(muffled)** "It's delicious."

Xemnas: "What about you Xigbar? What do you have?"

Xigbar: "I've got blinding vomit inducing vanilla."

Xemnas: "Blinding vomit inducing vanilla?"

Xigbar: "Yeah. But don't worry it's just the name."

Xemnas: "Ah."

Xigbar: "Yeah. It really causes terrible nightmarish diarrhea."

**long tense un-comfortable pause**

Vexen: "Well of to the arcade!"

**After everyone finished their ice cream, and Xaldin had his face fixed, Xigbar crapped out all the diarrhea, Vexen got the tar or "chocolate" out of his mouth, Lexeaus got the antidote for his ice cream, and Zexion was de-wormed, The gang headed down to the school for they're lectures. Oh my God what the hell was I thinking? Lectures, children don't need to be lectured by these guys. Man I am stupid**


	4. Chapter IV: Reminiscing

**Chapter IV**

**A/N: Yep Chapter IV. This one will be interesting. Well as always tell me what you think. And yes already I know I know about the black boxes and lines I have no idea on to get rid of them. If anyone knows how to get rid of them please do not hesitate to tell me. Enjoy as always. Stupid S.O.Bs.**

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**As the six betrayers, as they're so aptly called by Ansem the Wise, stood in front of Pinehurst Elementary school they all began to reminisce about their days at school.**

Zexion: **(breaths in deeply then exhales)** "Ahh! It's so great to be back at a place of learning!"

Then Xemnas spit out his drink in a cartoon-ish manner 

Xemnas: "Learning? Th-th-th-that's bad for Xemnas'!"

Vexen: "There's more than one Xemnas?"

Xigbar: "Don't even bull shit like that."

**Then Lexeaus interrupted with an annoyingly boastful laugh.**

Lexeaus: "Ha ha ha ha ha! I remember my days at school. O they were filled with fun and adventure,"

Xaldin: "Really Lexeaus? Please tell us."

Xigbar: "No, no, no, no! If he talks he won't stop!"

Lexeaus: "It all started in kindergarten."

Xigbar: "Oh, GOD DAMN IT!!"

Lexeaus: "I was the new kid in class."

Xigbar: "Oh! He's not going to stop."

Lexeaus: "I admit I was a bit shy. But I was determined to do my best."

Xigbar: "Oh God!"

Lexeaus: "You know what why tell you? How about I show you! With—

Xigbar: "Don't say it."

Lexeaus: "A—

Xigbar: "Don't"

Lexeaus: "flash—

Xigbar: "NO!"

Lexeaus: "back!"

Xigbar: "That's it I'm leaving."

**Xigbar turned around and proceeded to leave. But before he could leave Lexeaus pulled his hood and brought him back.**

Lexeaus: "Oh no you don't! Chapter IV is for reminiscing and you're going to reminisce."

Xigbar: "Says who?"

Lexeaus: "Says the author."

Xigbar: "Ah screw his pussy ass. I'm not afraid of him."

**At that moment lightning struck a car and thunder boomed and shook the entire city.**

sharinganrivers: "Not what do you have to say?"

Xigbar: "Nothing."

sharinganrivers: "That's right nothing. Or else you'll have to feel—my awesome wrath."

A/N: I said that last thing like Meatwad from ATHF

Xigbar: "That was my car."

Zexion: "You have a car?"

Xemnas: **(grabbing Xigbar by the shoulders)** "And we had to walk all the way down here? You insensitive jerk"

sharinganrivers: Guys just reminisce already. That's what Chapter IV is about. Although at this rate I might have to move it to Chapter V.

Xigbar: (**in an obviously fake tone of voice)** "Oh. Then I guess we won't be able to reminisce then."

sharinganrivers: "Nonsense. I'm writing Chapter V right now."

Xigbar: "GODDAMNIT!"

Lexeaus: "Hey! **(whistles)** Back to me here. Now as I was saying, I was a bit shy. However I strived to do my best."

Xigbar: "Here we go."

Lexeaus: "Now where is that flashback machine?"

Vexen: "Flashback machine?"

Lexeaus: "Yeah, you know, the thing that makes everything all wavy-like.

Vexen: "Right."

Lexeaus: "Oh, here it is."

Xigbar: "Oh God, no!"

Lexeaus pressed the button on the Flashback machine— 

Vexen: "A flashback machine. What the fuck is that? I mean who the hell would make that?"

sharinganrivers: Will you be quiet? I'm trying to do a monologue here.

Vexen: "Fine. What the hell ever."

sharinganrivers: ….Yes a flashback machine. By activating it everyone was sent back in time. Including the reader of this fic. Yes you motherfucker. You're reading this as you're coming with us. Don't walk away, I see you.

Now that you're back, we're going back in time to the Organization's school days and—you know what? Fuck this. I don't feel like doing this. Let's just go into the school. And if you're disappointed that there will be no reminiscing too bad.

Xigbar: "O God, thank you!"

Lexeaus: "Oh no you don't. While the author is busy writing Chapter V I'll regale you with some even more enthralling stories."

Xigbar: "Oh God, no!"


	5. Chapter V: School Daze

**Chapter V**

**He, he, he, he, he. Well, well, well. Look who decided to come back. I new you'd come crawling back to me. They all come back. Now read my fic damn it. Read it. Please. Well screw you then fuck face.**

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**Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexeaus, and Zexion entered Pinehurst Elementary. While they were walking down to the principal's office they ran into some of the children.**

Vexen: "Hello children."

children: **(running away)** "Ahhhhhhh!"

Vexen: "Why do they always run?"

Xemnas: "Because you're a mad scientist?"

Zexion: "I thought it was because he touches himself."

Lexeaus: "No, no, no guys. It's because he's ugly."

**all agreeing**

Zexion: "He's got a misshapen head.

**Just then Xigbar heard something.**

Xigbar: Everyone shush.

**He went to peer around the corner to see where the noise was coming from.**

Xigbar: "Shit!"

Xaldin: "What?"

Xigbar: "It's Axel."

Xaldin: "Axel?"

**Xaldin peered around the corner himself and sure enough there was Axel, mopping.**

Zexion: "Why is he mopping?"

Xemnas: "Who the hell cares? Come on, let's sneak past him."

**So with that the six of them began to creep past Axel. Now the reason for this is because Axel is extremely clingy. And no one wants to be around him, not even Roxas. Why do you think he left the Organization? It wasn't to meet Sora. It was to get away from Axel. He was getting way to clingy again as he usually does.**

Xemnas: **(thinking)** "Almost there…just a few more steps…come on principal's office."

Axel: "Hey guys!"

everyone: "FUCK! We mean, hey Axel!"

Axel: "It's great to see you guys."

Vexen: "Hey, how 'bout that, eh?"

Zexion: "You work here or something?"

Axel: "Oh yeah. I work part time as a janitor."

Vexen: **(deadpan)** "Really?"

Axel: "Oh yeah. Just to earn a bit of extra cash, you know."

**At that point Xemnas took Axel's bucket and slammed it on his head, attempting to knock him out. Or at least knock him over.**

Xemnas: "Quick, run!"

**All six apprentices ran straight for the principal's office to get away from Axel**

Axel: "Come back here! LOVE MEEEE!! LOVE—hey I found a nickel!"

**While in the main office Principal Waxelplax came and showed Xemnas and the others to room 666 so they could give speeches to the kids.**

Zexion: "666? That's kinda odd"

Waxelplax: "Wha—? Oh sorry. Wrong room. We did a science experiment in there and it all went…

**snarling and growling coming from the room**

Vexen: "Can we see it?"

**blood just splattered the window of the door**

Waxelplax: "You know I wouldn't go near it. Right this way please."

Xigbar: "Oh yeah? Well I want to see it myself."

**Xigbar opened the door and to his horror he saw…**

Xigbar: "RICHARD SIMMONS?!"

**A/N: Not sure if I spelled his name right**

Simmins: "Hello there. Have you come for the aerobics class? And one and two and three and four…"

Xaldin: "Oh my God!"

Vexen: "Shut the door!"

**Xigbar closed the door breathing hard**

Waxelplax: Told you, you didn't want to see it. Now this way please."

**In the auditorium everyone was seated and waiting for Ansem's apprentices to talk to everyone. The students, the teachers, the parents, the authorities, everyone.**

Principal: "Thank you all for being here. And without further ado here are Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexeaus, and Zexion, here to speak to you all. First will be Zexion…."

LATER:

**In an interview Principal Waxelplax told reporters of the events at the auditorium**

Reporter: "So exactly what happened?"

Waxelplax: "Without a doubt they were the worst guest speakers in history. They all spoke of very bad things. One spoke in racial slurs…"

Lexeaus: "Immigrants should be kicked out of the country."

Little girl: "Don't you mean illegal immigrants?"

Lexeaus: "No."

Waxelplax: "Then several angered people threw bricks at him, which Xigbar was selling to them."

Lexeaus: "Aah, Goddamn! Son of a bitch!"

Waxelplax: "Vexen showed everyone how to mix drugs."

Vexen: "See kids? After that add the ammonia and you get heroine. See?"

Waxelplax: "Xaldin I thought would be better. He was going to talk about STIs. I thought he would talk about preventing them. Instead he talked about how he got them and women he transferred them to."

**A/N: For those of you who don't know they changed STD to STI. I.e Sexually Transmitted Disease to Sexually Transmitted Infection namely because diseases like syphilis aren't diseases they're infections.**

Xaldin: "See I'm not a stranger to sex. Just ask Billy's mom. And his dad."

Waxelplax: "It became progressively worse."

Xaldin: "Look at it. Genital herpes is a bitch, isn't it? That's not the worst of it. Just look at what's on my ass."

**Xaldin took of his cloak. Turned around, pulled his pants and boxes down, and bent over.**

Audience: **(huge collective gasp)**

Xaldin: "I know. It's a whole lot worst than it looks too."

Waxelplax: "Zexion was going to talk about books. I thought that this might be better. I was wrong.

Zexion: "Books can help you a lot in life. How can they help you? Well this book can help you hit on women, yeah that'll help, right? And also here's one that tells you about being a cannibal. That's always fun. Oh, and here's one you can use to form your own cult, and this one is used by burglars. I've used many of these books myself—

Xemnas: "BOOKS?!

**Xemnas ran on stage and attacked and destroyed Zexion's books.**

Xemnas: "That was close! Do you know how close I came to reading something? I mean I had this book in my hands the entire time."

**He pointed to one of the remaining books that Zexion hadn't used.**

Xigbar: "How to mix crack."

Vexen: "That's odd considering what you're going to talk about next, Xemnas."

Xemnas: "Oh, I'm going to talk too?"

Vexen: "Yes."

Xemnas: "Oh. Well then, let me just run out to my car. I'll be right back."

**Then Xemnas ran outside, got into "his" car and drove off**

Lexeaus: "I didn't know Xemnas had a car."

man in the audience: "He doesn't. That's my car!"

**After three more hours of chasing Xemnas they cornered him and brought him back to the school to speak.**

Xemnas: All right, all right I'll speak. And just so you know books aren't all that great kids. Sometimes they can be sad. Like at the end of "Flowers for Algernon". It was so sad. I cried."

Xigbar: "Wait a minute I thought you couldn't read."

**everyone turns around and stares at Xemnas inquiringly**

Xemnas: **('thinking')** "Uh-oh Xemnas, they've caught you in a lie. Quick think of something. If they find out you can read they'll make you read to children and to old people. And nobody wants to do that!"

Zexion: "He realizes he's speaking out loud, right?"

Xaldin: "I doubt it."

Xemnas: "Um, I didn't kill that cat. That's what we were talking about right? Right?"

Police officer: "No, we weren't."

Xemnas: "Good because that's not what I was talking about either **(Peter Griffin laugh).**

Police officer: "But now that you mention it, what did happen to that cat?"

Lexeaus: "Uh can we continue here people?"

Waxelplax: "Xemnas I think was the absolute worse of all of them.

Xemnas: "Ugh", **(snorting as if he just got up early in the morning)**

**Xemnas with beer in hand, brought a recliner up on stage, sat it down in front of the audience and sat down in it stretching his legs wide open with a can of beer in his hand**

Xemnas: **(sighs)** "Um, uh, you guys like playboys?"

audience: **(no response whatsoever)**

Xemnas: "Okay, I see where I can go with this."

Waxelplax: "Xemnas told children about beer parties…"

Xemnas: "See kids when you get the keg…of beer…you need to call the playboy mansion. Or any other place that has strippers."

Waxelplax: "He just didn't seem to have any regard for the parents that were sitting there in the audience.

Xemnas: "Then kids when you get enough girls then you can have what's called an orgy. Can you say orgy?"

Kids: **(apprehensively, halfheartedly)** "Orgy."

Xemnas: That's right kids. That's when you have sex in a big, big, big…group."

Waxelplax: "After that we had to ask them to leave."

Waxelplax: "Okay that's enough Xemnas thank you all for speaking."

Xemnas: "Oh, you're welcome teacher bitch. Oh, and uh, can I get paid in cash? I got some errands to run and I don't think I'll make the bank."

Waxelplax: "Oh well I, um…"

Xemnas: "It's my money bitch. I earned it!"

Wxelplax: "Since asking them to leave didn't work we had to force them to leave."

**Now just imagine Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexeaus, and Zexion being forced through the front of the school.**

Xemnas: "Hey bitch I gave you all an enthralling story and your just going to kick me out. Hey don't touch me there!"

Zexion: "You better hope I don't catch you outside!"

**Just then a big giant-of-a-man came and grabbed Zexion's whole body.**

Zexion: "Ah, oh, no! No, wait. That's not supposed to bend that way!"

Xigbar: "Wow! I didn't know Zexion was that flexible!"

Vexen: "He's not."

Xigbar: "Are you sure?"

Vexen: **while nodding his head** "Yes, I'm positive."

Xigbar: "Really? I mean because look at him. Look at how his leg is bending—

Zexion: NO I'M NOT THAT FLEXIBLE YOU FUCKING DUNBASS!!

Xigbar: "Shh! We're talking here. You can't just disturb people while they're talking."

Zexion: "HELP!"

Xigbar: "And I don't care if you're bleeding. Or if for some unexplained reason your ribs are coming out of your foot."

(You know what we should just end it here. So come back next week to—

Zexion: OH MY GOD! **blood curdling scream**

Xaldin: "Look at all the organs—falling out of his body."

Lexeaus: "Dibs on the liver."

**---**

**A/N: You know I'm just going to end it here. Stay tuned for Chapter VI.**


	6. Chapter VI: A Hospital Visit

**Chapter VI**

**Well then folks here we are, at Chapter VI. Well if you didn't like Chapter V then you will definitely like Chapter VI here. Yeah. It's awesome. Hell yeah. Don't worry folks Zexion is okay. To some extent. But everyone has fun here in this chapter. Yeah, even Zexion. Kind of. Anyway read and review. Now! Jackasses.**

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Xemnas: "Hey, I've never been in an ambulance this big before."

Paramedic: "And you never will again if you keep touching things."

Xigbar: "Oooh, what's this?"

Paramedic: "A syringe."

Xigbar: "Ooh what's this?"

Paramedic: "Morphine."

Xigbar: "Oooh, what does this button do?" **(pushing the button)**

Paramedic: "It drains Zexion's blood."

Xaldin: "Well that would explain why he's so pale."

**As Xaldin said that Zexion began to twitching and gag.**

Xigbar: "Aww, look at him twitch. He looks like he's having fun."

Xigbar: "Then let's drain more blood."

Paramedic: "Stop that. He'll be dead within the hour."

Xaldin: "Or minute judging by how much he's gagging."

Xemnas: "That means he likes it. Let's drain more blood."

Zexion: (**large gagging sound, coughing up what little blood he has left)**

Xemnas: "Aww, look how happy we made him."

**On the way to the hospital, for some unknown reason Xemnas decided to drive. Zexion greatly protested but Xemnas reassured him.**

Xemnas: "Don't worry Zexion, I'm a very safe driver."

**Which, astonishing as it is, was true. The only reason Zexion didn't want Xemnas driving was because he wasn't dependable to drive you to where you wanted to go. For some unknown reason he'd think going shopping for baby clothes was more important than driving to the hospital to deliver the baby, despite constant protests from everyone in the car, including the pregnant mother herself. In this case it was a stop at McDonalds.**

P.A: "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?"

Xemnas: "Uh, yeah can I get 9 hamburgers and—

Vexen: "Xemnas, Zexion's dying back here!"

Xemnas: "Oh right, right. And one happy meal." **(On account of Zexion** **being the youngest)** "And uh, I guess I'll have fries. If I get fires is any one else going to get any. 'Cause if they don't I'll just feel like a fatty."

At the hospital…

Xigbar: "Aww, it's a girl" **(chuckles softly)**

Doctor: "Sir, how did you get in here? This is a private room, in a closed ward."

Woman: "And will you give me back my baby?"

Xigbar: "You'd like that wouldn't you? Ya commie!"

**The doctor then took the baby from Xigbar, gave it back to the mother, and kicked him out.**

Meanwhile down in surgery…

Lexeaus: "O.K. then folks what do we have here?"

Surgeon 1: "This patient has a brain tumor that we need to remove quickly."

Lexeaus: "O.K how's he doing?"

Surgeon 2: "His vitals are dropping."

Lexeaus: "O.K, come on people, let's get him under now!"

Surgeon 1: "Already done sir."

Lexeaus: "All right let's get started then."

**4 hours later…**

Surgeon 3: "The operation was a success doctor! Good job."

Lexeaus: "Thanks."

**Lexeaus then pulled down his mask**

Surgeon 4: "Wait a minute, who the hell are you? Where's Doctor Wen?"

**Now surgeon 4 turned to surgeon 2 when he asked this question. When he turned around Lexeaus was gone.**

Surgeon 1: "Who the hell was that!"

Surgeon 2: "I don't know. But whoever he was, he just stole an entire cabinet of medicine."

Meanwhile…

Xaldin: "Well sir I don't like the looks of this."

**Xaldin was looking intently at his "patient's" clipboard.**

Xaldin: "No, no, no I don't like that at all. Sir I'm afraid that foot is going to have to go."

man: "WHAT?!"

Xaldin: "Ah, I'm just joking there's nothing on here, see?"

**He turned the clipboard to show his "patient" a blank sheet of paper.**

man: "So what should I do doctor?"

Xaldin: "Doctor? I'm not a doctor. I'm just going around fucking with people. I told a pregnant woman she had a miscarriage. Ha ha ha! You should have seen her face. I let her cry for like an hour until they were going to cut the baby out. I just told them the truth."

**The man in the hospital bed liked dumbstruck at Xaldin's story also a little frightened.**

Xaldin: "Although I had half a mind to just let them go ahead and do it. But of course I couldn't she was six months pregnant. She just came in for a sonogram."

**The patient proceeded to push the call button for the nurse very fast.**

man: "NURSE! NURSE!!"

Xaldin: "Oh I have plenty of stories that have to do with the hospital. Let me tell you a few."

**Xaldin drew up a seat close to the bed**

man: "NURSE!!!"

Xaldin: "It's useless, that button's been disconnected for some time now."

man: "Oh my God, what did you do?"

Xaldin: "Oh I didn't do anything. I heard some of the doctors down stairs complaining about it. Well then, my first story takes place in Atlanta where I…"

man: "NOOOOO!"

Xaldin: **(over the man's screaming)** "The more you yell the louder and longer I talk."

Down in the morgue…

Xemnas: "Vexen what are we doing down here?"

**Vexen and Xemnas were down in the morgue trying to get to the bodies of those that died in the hospital. One body down here was somebody Xemnas ran over while in the driveway of the hospital.**

Vexen: "Do you know what kind of stuff you can find in a dead body's clothes? Believe me, I know. I've done it a thousand times."

Xemnas: "You know they strip the bodies right?"

Vexen: "Maybe there's a dead woman we could have sex with."

Xemnas: "Pace yourself now."

**Xemnas grabbed the handle of one of the drawers and pulled it open.**

Xemnas: "Not this one."

Vexen: "Which gives me idea."

Xemnas: "Uh-oh!"

Vexen: "Here, give me a hand with this one."

**Xemnas and Vexen each grabbed one of the other bodies and lifted it.**

Xemnas: "So we're going to take a dead body and do what now?"

Vexen: "It's a work in plan."

Xemnas: "I see."

Vexen: "Yes."

Xemnas: "Hmm."

Vexen: "Quiet."

Xemnas: "Uh-huh."

Vexen: "Indeed."

Xemnas: "Food."

Vexen: "Not for you Xemnas."

Xemnas: "Okay, let's go."

Vexen: "Right."

Xemnas: "Uh, you know necrophilia is bad and against the law right?"

Vexen: "Not according to the grave robbers society."

Xemnas: "There's a grave robbers society?"

Vexen: "Uh-huh."

Xemnas: "Really?"

Vexen: "Yeah."

Xemnas: "And you're a member?"

Vexen: "Yeah well I've told you to much already."

**Down at the ICU…**

Doctor: "Well Zexion it looks like you'll make a full recovery."

Zexion: "That's good."

doctor: "Yes just try and stay away from anything stressful."

**Zexion then pondered this for a second then turned to his left and saw his friends doing…destructive things.**

Zexion: "Oh God." **Zexion said this while turning his head back and covering his eyes with his hand.)**

**All of a sudden Vexen rushed to Zexion's bedside panting and sweating.**

Vexen: "Zex- **(pant)**-i- **(pant)**-on- **(pant)**. Have you- **(pant)** seen a corpse some where here?"

Zexion: "No, why?"

Vexen: "No reason." **(He said this wearily, trying to disguise to fact he and Xemnas lost the body the y stole. Then of course Xemnas shows up.)**

Xemnas: **(pant, pant, pant)** "Zexion!"

Zexion: **(groan)**

Xemnas: "Have you seen a decaying—thing walking around?"

Zexion: **(turned to Vexen then turned back and said)** "No, why?"

Xemnas: "Um, no reason." **(He began eyeing the doctor wearily, trying to** **hide any suspicion. Poorly.)** "But I think we made a Zombie!"

**Everyone in the room froze. Even Xigbar and the others stopped, to which Zexion replied—**

Zexion: "Mother fuckers."

**(Well that's…great—ish. Zombies huh? Oh my God this could not be any more terrible than it already is. And yet I'm going to make it even more horrible. Muhahahahah! Yes. Make sure to look into Chapter VII. Demyx comes back. Crap. Ansem the Wise makes a small cameo appearance and this time we actually do reminiscences. Which is cool. Yeah.)**


	7. Chapter VII: Fucking with Demyx

Chapter VII

A/N: Well guys you've stayed with me this long, so what's one more chapter, eh? _This_ time I'm going to do reminiscing. Won't that be fun? 'Cause I hope not. This should be interesting. This chapter is supposed to be an interlude in the story. So…yeah. There's more Demyx for all you fans out there. All two of you. Well, here you go.

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Well everyone got back safely from the hospital, even with a mad zombie on the loose.

Xemnas: "Okay Zexion easy does it now. Be careful getting out of that wheelchair."

Zexion: "Question; why did you tie my wheelchair to the top of the car?"

Xemnas: "We needed space, man."

Zexion: "It was a minivan."

Xemnas: "Yeah and I stuffed it full of candy and other knickknacks."

Zexion: "Like?"

Xemnas: "Skittles. And pork chops."

Zexion: "Where the hell did you get pork chops?"

Xemnas: "I bought them from a suspicious looking man on a street corner. He had pink hair and carried a large pink scythe."

While inside the Organization's mansion they all saw something…odd-ish.

Xemnas: "What the hell? Demyx who said you could come inside?"

Demyx panicked like Zoidburg from Futurama, dropped the steak he was eating and ran for cover.

Xemnas: "That's it! I'm looking for some ass to carve up, and luckily for you Xigbar I just saw Demyx."

Remember in Chapter II when everyone chased after Xemnas? You don't? Then what the hell were you doing when you were reading my fic? Get the hell out of here. Long story short Demyx was caught and given a stern talking to by Xemnas. And believe me that it's self is torture.

When Xemnas caught Demyx he sat him down on the steps in the grand hall in front of the 12-story fountain.

Xemnas: (sighs) "Now Demyx do you know why I don't let you sleep inside?"

Demyx: "Because you're too cheap to give me a room, even though we have all of this in this mansion plus the mansion it's self?"

Xemnas: "No. I don't let you inside because I don't _want_ to give you a room. If I gave you a room then people would think you actually live here. Then I would be obligated to give you things. Like food and clothes and shelter and medicine for the various diseases you have. And I'd have to go to you're concerts, which suck by the way."

Demyx: "I guess I'll never amount too anything."

Xigbar: "Now you're starting to get it."

Xaldin: "Come on everyone let's make fun at Demyx and laugh at his expense."

everyone except Demyx, including the butler and maid: "Hooray!!"

Demyx slowly walked away a few tears in his eyes. He sat by himself in the parlor and began to cry. What a bitch. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaaaa! I mean, aww poor Demyx. Slowly he began to sing.

Demyx: "It seems that I'm all alone. No one seems to care about me. They all like to make fun of me. But. I don't let that get to me. I will always prevail—

Xemnas: "Shut the fuck up. Who said you could sing? That's it you're getting a beating!"

After everyone laughed and laughed at, Xemnas beating Demyx everyone sat down in the grand hall and talked about all the stuff they made Zexion do in town, even though he was still critically injured, and all the souvenirs they got.

Xigbar: Look guys I stole a baby form the hospital."

Lexeaus: "Why would you steal a baby?"

Xigbar: "Why wouldn't you steal a baby?"

Lexeaus: "Good point. I myself have obtained copy of 'Cannibalism for DUMMIES.'

Xaldin: "I got a magic wand."

This can't be good.

Demyx: "I got a new sitar."

Xemnas: "Get the hell out of here. Do you want another beating?"

Demyx scurried away.

Xemnas: "Well guys I got animal porn. Who wants to see it?"

Vexen: "Oooh, meeee!"

Xaldin: "What did you get Vexen?"

Vexen: "I stole Ansem's dentures."

Lexeaus: "Really?"

Vexen: "Yeah. Ya wanna see?"

Lexeaus: "Maybe."

Spongebob narrator: "4 hours later."

Lexeaus: "No, I don't want to see them."

Xaldin: "Well you've managed to waste 3 hours."

Vexen: "4."

Lexeaus: "Ah, I need to draw a new battery for my watch."

Xemnas: "Y'know something that reminds me of Vexen's land sharks."

Vexen: "Oh no you don't. My sharks are perfectly safe. They would never hurt anyone."

Xemnas: "OH NO? (eerie voice) THEN WHAT'S THIS?!"

Xemnas pulled out a remote control and pushed a button on it. The wall behind the giant table they were sitting at rose up and revealed a giant big screen TV. Like the ones you see in old Batman episodes with Adam West.

Vexen: "You had to talk in a booming voice just for that?"

Xemnas: "Yeah. I've been waiting all this time just for this."

Vexen: "I see."

Xemnas: "I have here folks the actual security footage of Vexen's land sharks reeking havoc at Sea World."

Lexeaus: (singsong voice) "Oooh pass the popcorn."

Xemnas pushed play and the video started

boy on video: Hello mister land shark wanna be my friend?"

(More sharks gathered around the boy.)

boy: "Wow you guys sure are friendly. Yeah that's right lick all the melted ice cream off. It's sky-pepper ice cream you know."

Xemnas pushed pause on the tape.

Xemnas: "Now at this point we can see the land sharks, walking around on robotic legs as they are, are clearly angry and ravenous. Looking. I see white foam around there mouths. Or maybe it's yellow."

Xigbar: "You need a new TV jackass."

Xemnas: "Shut up."

Pushes play

boy: "Hey you shouldn't be biting me like that. I'm not ice cream. Oh no!!!!"

The five land sharks rip off all of the boy's limbs and the fifth one eats his head.

Zexion: "Wow. I can't believe it. Look at that. That ice cream is only $2.00 _and_ fat-free? That's amazing."

Vexen: "As you can see my land sharks didn't kill him."

Lexeaus: "What are you talking about? He's dead."

Vexen: (childishly) "Nu-uhhh. See his body's still twitching."

Xaldin: "And now it's not."

Lexeaus: "Hey, isn't that Puddin'?"

Xigbar: "No it's not pudding you idiot."

Lexeaus: "No Puddin' from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy."

Xemnas: "So it is."

Vexen: "Oh yeah? Well what about that time Xigbar sold a bunch of illegal stuff?"

Lexeaus: "Illegal stuff?"

Vexen: "Yeah. Like those films he stole from the movie theater. Or Ansem's medication, for his ravenous shooting people syndrome. Or those fake Kingdom Hearts games, Kingdom Hearts III: Sora's Revenge."

Xigbar: "Don't forget my fake book selling ring. See I have all these fake Harry Potter books."

Xemnas: (reading one of the books) "Hey I didn't I was in Harry Potter is 40 years old."

Lexeaus: (interrupting as he usually does) "Yeah that's right eight stacks of cheese."

Zexion: "Constipation?"

Lexeaus: "Of course."

Demyx: "I wrote a new song."

Xemnas: "Oh will you get the hell out of here. No one likes you."

Demyx: "My fans like me."

Xemnas: "What fans? Those were just a bunch of cardboard cut outs."

Demyx: (covering his ears) "Shut up! I have fans!"

Xemnas: "Come back here, I'm not done lecturing you!"

Demyx walked away with his ears covered, humming very loudly with Xemnas following trying to lecture him.

Xaldin: "You know, seeing that reminds me of the time we first met Ansem the Wise. And for the sake of it let's just say we knew Xemnas—I mean Xehanort all our lives. Ah yes, I remember it like it was yesterday."

Lexeaus: "Hooray flashback! Get the popcorn."

_FLASHBACK:_

Ansem: "Welcome everyone to my special interment camp."

Ienzo: "Interment camp? I thought this was an internship."

Ansem: "You thought wrong. So kids are you ready for fun?

Dilan: "Yes!"

Ansem: "Too bad, there isn't going to be any fun."

Xehanort: "What? Oh that's it I'm leaving. First there isn't any food that doesn't give you terrible nightmarish diarrhea then we had that crappy sky-pepper ice cream and they were all out of land-paprika ice cream and now this."

Braig: "How long will he keep ranting like this?"

Aeleus: "For a while at least."

Even: "Well then let's get settled then."

After 8 months of working in sweet shops Xehanort, Braig, Dilan, Even, Aeleus, and Ienzo all became Ansem the Wise's apprentices. When they're work was finished they were finally let out of the dark cellar Ansem kept them in,

Xehanort: "The light. I love the light."

Braig: "That's funny. You usually hate light."

Xehanort: "Not when I've been locked in a cellar for 8 months."

Aeleus: "It would have been better if Ansem didn't use whips."

Ienzo: "Food was good though."

Even: "Yeah. I wonder what happened to that guy named Seifer."

Dilan: "I don't know but this steak is delicious. And look a found a white trench coat with my steak. Just like the one Seifer used to wear. Oh look there he is.

Seifer and all the other non-interns slouched away, defeated.

Xehanort: "Hooray we win!"

Ansem: "That's right you win. Now kids you can take of your shock collars."

Everyone took of their collars

Ansem: "Now you can put on your shock body suits. And these can't be disabled in any way possible."

As soon as the suits went on everyone was shocked

Even: "Dilan your hair turned black."

Dilan: "Oh, I used to be a blonde."

Braig: "Your mutton chops are black too."

Dillan: "Mutton chops?"

_PRESENT:_

Xaldin: "And that folks is how we got here today."

Lexeaus: "That story was so terrible I think it gave me cancer."

Xemnas: (poking a body) "Yeah well you guys want to finish up this chapter? I've gotten board poking this body here."

Zexion: "Is that Saix?"

Xemnas: "Yep."

Zexion: "When did he get here?"

Xemnas: "Right after Xaldin started telling his story. He passed out do to much exposure to Xaldin's cancer inducing story."

Xaldin: "At least I don't make zombies."

Xemnas: "No you eat them."

Xaldin: "Eh, so what?"

Xigbar: "Hey guys I've got an idea. Let's all get some frosty chocolate milkshakes."

Everyone looked at each other then…

Xaldin: "Let's kick his ass!"

all agreeing

Xigbar: "Oh no!!"

Well as everyone chases Xigbar for the next oh let's say…3 hours please enjoy some nice soothing music…at your local music store. What do I look like a dj? Get the hell out of here.

Xigbar: "Hey guys tune in next week. I run for mayor. Will I make it? Find out in the next chapter."

(Who told you could you could do a monologue? Do you want to end up like Demyx?)


	8. Chapter VIII: A Trip to the Market

Chapter VIII

A/N: I know. I know. It has been a long fucking time. But don't worry I'm back. For now. Well folks you guys are in for a real treat today. Don't worry folks Demyx is okay. He went to a taping of Family Guy and that just cheered him right the fuck up. Ansem's former apprentices have gotten settled in their mansion. Things are looking up. Let's see how fast things can go down hill.

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It's early in the morning. The sun is rising and everyone is asleep. The whole town has yet to awaken from there slumber. Everything is quiet. All is calm. Then Xemnas woke up. He thought to him self "How can I make today even worse than yesterday?" Then it came to him. He grabbed a megaphone and went to the tallest balcony of the mansion. He took a radio with him as well. When Xemnas got to the top of the balcony he looked at the quiet town and thought aloud to himself "I love Hollywood." Then Xemnas turned on the megaphone and played his radio. And on the radio was a tape of Vanilla Ice's interview with MTV. At the same time everyone in town crapped their pants.

Xemnas: "Ah my work is done."

When Xemnas walked into the parlor Xaldin was waiting for him. And man was he pissed.

Xaldin "What the hell? What the fuck was that?"

Xemnas: "Did you like it? Did it wake you? Isn't it terrible?"

Xaldin: "In this order no, yes, and YES!"

Xemnas: **(like Spongebob)** "Yeah I know."

Xaldin just looked at Xemnas incredulously.

Xemnas: "Believe it or not that's just me on the tape, I made the interview up. Isn't it great, huh Xaldin? Huh? Isn't it great Xaldin? Huh? Isn't it great?"

Xaldin: "Yes, riveting."

Just then Xigbar came down stairs looking bloodied and…bloodied. With a headache.

Xemnas: "Jesus Christ man. What happened to you?"

Xigbar: "Remember the baby I stole from the hospital? Well apparently the mother was mad. And so was the dad. And so were the police."

Xaldin: "What, the police? They didn't find our stash did they?"

Xemnas: "Xaldin we don't have a stash."

Xaldin: **(with shifty eyes)** "No, of course not."

After Xaldin's "stash" skirmish everyone sat down to breakfast. They all got out their favorite breakfast.

Xemnas: "Mmm-mmm. My favorite cereal, Nobody flakes. The secret is they're invisible. But I'll never tell."

Demyx: "Wouldn't you rather try some Demyx'Os?"

Xemnas: "Demyx'Os? Those suck. They're so crappy only one box was ever bought. And you're holding it."

Demyx looked sadly at his cereal box.

Xemnas: "Ha ha ha ha! You suck."

Xigbar: "I have bacon and eggs."

Xemnas: "Hm."

Xigbar: "Yep. Good old fashion mastodon bacon and echidna eggs."

Xaldin: "I have soy pancakes."

Zexion: "But pancakes aren't meat."

Xaldin: "Yeah, but do you expect me to eat real pancakes?"

Zexion: **(sighs)** "What do you have Vexen?"

Vexen: "I have genetically altered toast. It will grow hair on your tongue, it may give you cancer, and it tastes like butter and jam in one."

Xemnas: "Don't look now Vexen But some of your tongue hair just fell out."

Registering some of this, Vexen replied…

Vexen: **(feeling his ass)** "Not only that I think I have ass cancer."

Lexeaus: "Ass cancer huh? That's nothing compared to what I have."

Vexen: "And what do you have?"

Lexeaus: "I have oatmeal."

Xaldin: "Why is it green?"

Zexion: "And breathing?"

Xigbar: "And moving?"

Lexeaus: "Don't know but that might explain the thing that's wrestling with my colon."

Zexion: **(smugly)** "Well guys I have breakfast pizza. It has pepperoni, sausage, bacon, ham, pineapple, black peppers, green peppers, and pretty much every pizza topping there is. Including beans, lasagna, oranges, slices of chicken, peanut butter, Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards, Pikachu, laxatives, onions, ketchup and mustard, pages from Narnia books, some quarters, and some finger nails."

**long pause, everyone staring at Zexion**

Xemnas: **nonchalantly** "Enjoy."

After everyone finished their respective breakfasts Xaldin decided to take a bath in the most unusual place.

Xaldin: "Ah nothing like a bath early in the morning. Ah, yep nothing like taking a bath in the fountain. Right at the tippy top. Oh, got to wash down there."

**Back at the bottom of the fountain…**

Vexen was studying the fountain's water intently.

Vexen: "That's the oddest thing."

Lexeaus: "What's wrong?"

Vexen: "The fountain water has turned yellow for some reason."

Lexeaus: "Huh. It's also warm."

Xigbar: "What's going on guys?"

Vexen: "Oh Xigbar, the water in the fountain has turned yellow for some reason. And it's warm."

Xigbar: "Hm. **(takes a sip of water)** Hm, it also tastes like lemonade. **(sniffing the air)** and it smells like pee."

Xaldin: "Hey guys what's up?"

Vexen: "Xaldin do you know why the fountain water is yellow, warm, tastes like lemonade and smells like pee?"

Xaldin: "Oh yeah, Zexion got us some lemonade. Unfortunately he forgot to refrigerate it and left it by some urine and the lemonade contracted the smell."

Xigbar: (like Homer Simpson) "Wow."

Then Xemnas on the intercom started talking in a loud booming voice.

Xemnas: (**over the intercom)** "Everyone quickly come to the board meeting room."

Vexen: "Board meeting room?"

Xemnas: (**over intercom)** "Just come damn it."

Vexen: "He heard me?"

Xemnas: **(over intercom)** "Uh, I mean come quickly, bye."

In the "board meeting room" everyone was settled, Xemnas turned around in his seat to face everyone.

Xemnas: "Okay then guys we need ideas for what to do today. What can we do to make ourselves even bigger douche bags then before? Any suggestions?"

Lexeaus: "Hmm. We could go to the orphanage and tease all the orphans."

Xemnas: "Maybe. I'll put that in the maybe pile."

Xigbar: "I know, we could spread an infectious disease."

Xemnas: "Okay we could put that in the never pile."

Xigbar: "The Nederland pile?"

Xemnas: "The never pile."

Xigbar: "The good idea pile?"

Xemnas: "The never pile."

Xigbar: "The we're going to go through with the plan pile?"

Xemnas: "Get the hell out of here!"

Xaldin: "Let's open a bar."

Xemnas: "Intriguing."

Lexeaus: "Let's go to the grocery store."

Xemnas: "Nah."

Zexion: "I know. Let's go to the grocery store."

Xemnas: "I love it."

Lexeaus: "Wait a minute."

Vexen: "Let's get jobs at NBC studios."

Xemnas: "Nah."

Vexen: "Why not?"

Xemnas: "Well, something like that would take an entire fan fic and we just don't have that kind of time. So first we'll do the grocery store thing then the bar."

everyone: "Hooray!"

While at the grocery store everyone went their separate ways to find the food they wanted.

Xaldin: "Ooh I found chocolate! Look at all the chocolate."

kid: "Hey mister you're too big to be in the candy isle."

Xaldin: **(punching the little girl)** "Shut up!"

kid: **(crying)**

security guard: "Hey what's going on here?"

Xaldin: "Uh-oh."

As Xaldin began evading the law, as he usually does, Xigbar began his trek in the meat department. There he examined all the different meats.

Xigbar: "Hmm. Party list: beer, toys, meatses, chipses, potions, lotions, doggies, toys, great music and more beer."

Xigbar said this out loud to everyone as if it made sense. Which it didn't.

clerk: "Um, sir do you need anything?"

Xigbar: "Yes I do. I would like some—oh my God!"

Xigbar rushed over to the end of the line of meat. And saw…

Xigbar: "Pork butts and taters!"

clerk: "What the hell's a pork butt and tater?"

Xigbar: **(scoffs)** "It's not a pork but and tater r-tard. It's pork butts and taters."

clerk: **(sheepishly)** "I'm not an r-tard."

Meanwhile Xemnas was down another aisle choosing condiments.

Xemnas: **(holding two bottles and looking at each one in turn)** "Ketchup. Or catsup. Ketchup. Or catsup. Ketchup. Or catsup. Ketchup. Catsup. Ketch—oh I'm in over my head here."

Lexeaus was in the fruit aisle trying to decide which fruit to steal. This time.

Lexeaus: "Let's see now this looks good. Nice plump watermelons. Hmm. **(takes a bite)** Very good oranges. Okay then it's decided I will steal all the fruit."

grocer: "Sir why did you bite through the skin of the orange?"

Lexeaus: "Because it would be easier than peeling it, bitch."

Xaldin: **(running by)** "My chocolate!"

security guard: **(out of breath)** "Hey come back here damn it! Hey aren't you the guy who stole medicine from the hospital?"

Lexeaus: "Oh I'm sorry where are my manners my name is—

And just like that Lexeaus took of like a shot.

security guard: "Come back here, god damn it!"

Meanwhile Vexen was down with the magazines reading up on…things as he called it.

Vexen: "Spider-Man, Batman, Naruto, InuYasha, Kingdom Hearts, Mega Man, RayOut, Cannibalism Weekly. Ah, here it is. Shonen Jump. Ooh a new Yu-Gi-Oh! card. Lets see. Vexen, the Chilly Academic. WATER, Level 6, Warrior/Effect, ATK: 2400, DEF: 1500. And his effect is, "You do not need to tribute summon to summon this card. When this card is Summoned (Normal Summoned, Flip Summoned, or Special Summoned) you should just give up because this is the crappiest card in the entire game. This card is weaker than Kuriboh."

What the fuck? What the hell is this? How the hell am I the weakest card? How can I be weaker than Kuriboh? I have more ATK points!

Zexion: "Well look at the effect "weaker than Kuriboh," see?"

Vexen: "Well then where's your card?"

Zexion: "Oh well. Oh here's last month's issue. Let's take a look. Here it is. Zexion, the Cloaked Schemer. DARK, Level 6, Warrior/Effect, ATK: 2400, DEF: 1500. The effect is as follows: "You do not have to tribute summon to summon this card. When this card is Summoned (Normal Summoned, Flip Summoned, or Special Summoned) you rock because this card is way better than Vexen, the Chilly Academic. This card is stronger than the Egyptian God cards. If your opponent at any time has the cards Exodia the Forbidden One, Right Arm of the Forbidden One, Left Arm of the Forbidden One, Right Leg of the Forbidden One, Left Leg of the Forbidden One you can negate the effect and you automatically win the duel." That's a hell of an effect isn't it?"

Let's see here, Xaldin punched a little girl and is evading the law—again, Xigbar made an employee feel like an r-tard, Xemnas, is having trouble picking between catsup or ketchup, Lexeaus is stealing fruit, and Vexen is pissed off at Zexion for having a better Yu-Gi-Oh! card than him. Yes they are all idiots aren't they? Well after all the conflicts—er—resolved themselves everyone headed to the checkout line to pay for they're various foods.

casher: "Okay your total comes to $496.53."

Xemnas: "Let's see here. One Canadian penny. Two Canadian pennies. Three Canadian pennies…

This actually goes on for about 4-hours. Largely do to the fact that Xemnas kept losing count every time someone told him he couldn't pay with Canadian pennies. And he forgot how to count like five times.

Xemnas: "That's 6869 Canadian pennies. Now how much is that?

casher: "I thought you knew."

Xemnas: "Nope."

Outside of the store 

Xemnas: "Oh. They kicked us out of the store. And banned us."

Xaldin: "Yeah but it was worth it to get our Sugar Crisp cereal. **(singing) **Can't get enough of that sugar crisp.

Vexen: "Eh, it's so dark out here. I'm having a herd time seeing. Xaldin did you remember to put the fog lights in?

Xaldin: **(singing)** "'Cause I forgot to put the fog lights in."

Vexen: "I better pull over just to be safe."

Lexeaus: "One question. How did we get into the car?"

Xigbar: "When did we get a car?"

Vexen: "I don't know."

Well with that everyone drove home happily. Then Xemnas made everyone sing 100 bottles of beer on the wall. After 10 minutes of that Xaldin stabbed himself in his chest. Unfortunately it didn't kill him.

---

**A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to put up Chapter VIII. Stay tuned for Chapter IX. Coming to a computer screen near you. Hopefully. Please come back. I'm so lonely.**


	9. Chapter IX: Surgery, Stress, and Sleep

**Chapter IX**

**A/N: Well folks welcome to another edition of The Organization Adventure. I hope you all have enjoyed my previous Chapters. I am starting work on another fanfic with byakuganwalker. I wont tell you what it's about. I will say it's about an annoying blond haired kid who says, "Believe it!" way to fucking much.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Xemnas called everyone to the throne room. Saix and the others weren't there though. Numbers 1-6 were sitting there with their hoods up, looking menacing. Then Riku happened by.**

Riku: "What are you guys doing?"

Xigbar: Shush!! We're sitting here looking menacing."

Riku: "For how long?"

Xigbar: **(checking his watch) **"For 8 more minutes."

Riku: "Right."

Xemnas: "Quiet!"

Xigbar: "He's just listening to his iPod."

Xemnas: "No it's a portable radio. I'm trying to listen to the blitzball game. I put $1000 on the Zanarkand Abes."

Xaldin: "Xemnas, the Zanarkand Abes aren't a real team. They only exist in Dream Zanarkand. And that doesn't exist anymore."

Xemnas: "What!? Then who the hell did I bet on?

Zexion: **(Holding Xemnas' betting sheet)** "According to this a team called the Fungos. The Springfield Fungos."

Xemnas: "Aww, and they lost too. Man what am I going to do? I don't have $1000. **(sighs) **Only one thing to do now. **(reaching behind his throne for a** **medical kit) **Okay guys, I need a kidney."

**At this point everyone is gone. They left so fast that there was a trail of fire coming from each throne leading to that person. As a matter of fact Xaldin's newspaper was still hanging in the air.**

Xemnas: "Oh no you don't."

Vexen: **(in the distance)**"Oh yes I do."

Xemnas: "All right then, go super powers."

Lexeaus: "Who the hell gave him super powers?"

Xaldin: "Didn't you know? You can order them from the back of comic books. Like this one. I got super special awesome wind powers.

Xemnas: "A-ha! There you are!"

Vexen: "Oh no! Xemnas didn't take his medication again!"

Zexion: "I'll stop him. Go super pow—

Zexion: "What the hell? What happened?"

Xemnas: "Well while you were busy screaming something about super powers I took the liberty of drugging you and taking your kidneys."

Zexion: "Kidneys? Don't I kinda need both of them?"

Xemnas: "Oh no. You can live without your liver."

Zexion: "My liver? I thought it was my kidneys."

Xemnas: "Correct. Your intestines are missing."

Zexion: "What? Where the hell am I?"

Xemnas: "Oh, in a tub of ice. In a slaughterhouse. In my basement."

Zexion: "Wait, you have a basement?"

Xemnas: "It's my basement, I snuck in here drugged the occupant of this house and impersonated him when the police showed up, same difference."

Zexion: "Do you really need to hold that axe that close to my face?"

Xemnas: "Yes I do."

**After Zexion got his organs replaced with artificial ones Xemnas regaled everyone with a story of his own.**

Xemnas: "And that kids is the time Freddy Kruger came over for dinner."

**Everyone in the room was stunned and frightened. Zexion however wasn't paying attention do to the fact that he was sitting in one of the chairs shivering uncontrollably, due to the loss of blood and lack of organs.**

Xemnas: "What's wrong Zexion? You've got some new organs."

Zexion: "But they aren't real."

Xemnas: "Well of course not. They're artificial, now aren't they?"

Zexion: "No they aren't. You just took a bunch of junk and put it in my body. You said you were going to turn me into Inspector Gadget."

Xemnas: "And I did."

Zexion: "No you didn't."

Xemnas: "I didn't?"

Zexion: "No!"

Xemnas: "Oh. Well then Xaldin dictate this. I need to put an ad in the paper."

Xaldin: "Okay I got ya."

Xemnas: "Want Ads. Looking for new member of Organization XIII. Number given: #6."

Zexion: "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're replacing me?"

Xemnas: "Well since you're sick and eventually going to die we need to pick up the slack."

Zexion: "I'm going to die?"

Xemnas: "Yes, yes and don't interrupt me. Oh don't worry we're going to get you the best medical treatment available."

Zexion: "Really?"

Xemnas: "Yes you're going to Sacred Heart hospital."

Zexion: "Bull shit. I'm not going there."

Xemnas: "Well it's either that or you can have Vexen take a look at you."

Vexen: **(twiddling his fingers)** "Yes. I'll take good care of your innards. I mean your brain. I mean your soul. He he—I mean, um, uh…

Xemnas: "Yes well, what's your choice?"

Zexion: "Hospital please."

Xemnas: "Well lucky for you Zexion you don't have to go to the hospital. Because we're rich. You can be cured right now."

Zexion: "it's a miracle."

almost everyone: "Hooray!"

Demyx: "Hey wait a minute! How come when I'm sick, like how I am now, you guys never do anything?"

Xemnas: "Are you still alive?"

Later that day…

Xemnas: "I need some money."

Lexeaus: "Quick everyone hide your valuables!"

Xemnas: "Oh please, I'm not going to try to sell your things. Again. **(quietly)** This time."

Xaldin: "Well then why don't we go to the ATM?"

Xigbar: "Sure that's a great idea."

Xemnas: "Oh crap."

Vexen: "What's wrong, Xemnas?"

Xemnas: "Xigbar sucks at the ATM. It always, and I mean always, takes him FOREVER to put in his pin number."

Xaldin: "Are you sure your not over exadurating?"

Xemnas: "You want to bet?"

At the bank…

Xigbar: "Let's see here. Um. Hmm. Uh, well…"

Xemnas: "Will you just pick a fucking number?!!"

Xigbar: "Don't rush me! Now let's see. This one?"

Xemnas: "The 4?"

Xigbar: "4? I thought it was a 3."

Xemnas: "That's a 3, dumbass."

Xigbar: "Hmm…"

Xemnas: "That's a 9. 6. 4. 4, again."

Xigbar: **(pushing button)** "This one."

Xemnas: "4 again."

Xigbar: "What about this?"

Xemnas: **(sighs)** "5."

Xigbar: "This looks lot an 3."

Xemnas: "How the hell does 8 look like 3?"

Xigbar: "Oh look who's talking, MR. 2+2fish."

Xemnas: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I checked the math 2+2 doesn't equal fish. But it does equal 7."

Xigbar: "That's better."

Xemnas: "But, I've also found out that 2+4chair."

Xigbar: **(using a calculator)** "What do you know. So it does."

Xemnas: "Wait a minute. You can use a calculator?"

Xigbar: "No."

Xemnas: "I see."

**Momentary pause**

Xemnas: "All right then, put your number in. let's go."

Xigbar: "Stop rushing me."

**6 hours later**

Xemnas: **(angrily)** "Come the fuck on!"

**After another 14 hours of mental torment for Xemnas and physical torment for Xigbar, everyone back at the mansion started to get ready for bed.**

**Xemnas curled up with his favorite bedtime story, 'The Day Xemnas Defeated Sora And Riku'. Suspiciously written by Xemnas himself.**

Xemnas: "I'm so happy."

**Xigbar took of his eye patch to soak his eyeball dangling out of its socket.**

**A/N: I've always wondered what was under Xigbar's eye patch. For some reason I always thought his eyeball would hang out if he took it off. My brother's theory makes more sense however. He said he thought Xigbar had a targeting laser under the eye patch that he uses when he's shooting. Go figure.**

Xigbar: "Yep nothing like soaking my eye in searing hot salt water just like Dr. Moe told me to. Just like his business card says: 'That's right, I'm a real doctor'. Although why he used the word 'real' is beyond me.

**Xaldin was in his room messing with his hair. Larxene came in to borrow his comb.**

Larxene: "Hey Xaldin. Can I borrow a comb?"

Xaldin: "Sure."

Larxene: "Thanks. What's wrong with your hair?"

Xaldin: "What do you mean?"

Larxene: "Well its kind of—

Xaldin: "What? Oh great it's doing that thing again."

**As Larxene left Xaldin was carefully aiming a blowtorch and a fire extinguisher at his head.**

Xaldin: "Okay then. Gotta aim this just right."

**Through the mansion Xaldin's screams of pain and pleasure [? were heard.**

Xaldin**: (echoing through the mansion)**"Oh my God! Oh! Owwww! Oh man that feels good!"

Larxene: "Hey should Xaldin's hair be acting like snakes? I mean I know they're dreads but still."

Xigbar: "Probably not. But be careful. Sometimes they lash out. With venom."

**Yes well. Vexen was busy trying to get rid of the few land sharks that survived his crazy genocidal rampage.**

Vexen: "Back. Back damn it! Get back! No, no. Put that down! Don't touch that! No you'll kill us all!"

land shark: "Correction kill us both."

Luxord: "Should it be talking?"

Vexen: "No, it shouldn't. But hey do me a favor. Since it's late I need you to go to the pharmacy tomorrow and get the antidote for this tentacle that sprouted from my head. Land sharks are smarter than you'd think."

**Lexaeus meanwhile was… Hey! Has anyone seen Lexaeus lately?**

Lexaeus: **(coughing and gasping for air while being crushed under a large** **dresser)** "Help me. Help!"

**Huh. well anyway, Zexion meanwhile was reading a book of his own.**

Zexion: "Yes. He, he, he, he."

Marluxia: "Are you touching yourself?"

Zexion: "No! Get out of here!"

**Oh yeah touching yourself is great Zexion. Believe me, I know.**

Zexion: "Why are you spying on me?"

**Because you touch yourself at night.**

Zexion: **(tearfully)** "So you don't have to tell everyone."

**Ah, jeez. Anyway everyone was off doing their daily routines in preparation for sleep. Except Lexaeus, I still don't know where he is.**

Lexaeus: "For the love of God why haven't you called for help?!"

**Oh well. So I will see you guys later. In the next chapter. The one after this one. Chapter X. Aw, you damn teenagers with your new age music, and your Internet, and your Xbox 360, and, and, oh what the hell do teenagers like. Um, Morgan Freeman. Well fuck you too, bitch!**


	10. Chapter X: Video Games and Ice Cream

**Chapter X**

**Early the next morning everyone was gathered down stairs. Well almost everyone. Xemnas was just getting down stairs to see where everyone went. To Xemnas interest everyone was gathered in the living room.**

Xemnas: "Hey guys, what are you doing?"

Saix: "Just playing a bit of Wii Sports."

Xemnas: "Ooooh. Can I play?"

Demyx: "Oh, go ahead I just lost anyway."

Xemnas: "He, he, he, he. I mean that sucks."

**Demyx handed Xemnas his Wii-mote and took his seat on the giant couch in the living room. Xemnas seemed a bit confounded with the intricate design of the Wii and the Wii-mote.**

Xemnas: "What the-? How the hell do you play this thing?"

Saix: "Oh it's easy. Hey I have an idea. Let's play Mario Party 8. Just go put it in, Xemnas."

Xemnas: "Sure."

**Get this. As soon as Xemnas touched the Wii it exploded.**

Xemnas: "Stupid seventh generation video game consoles. I liked the sixth generation better."

Marluxia: "But the seventh generation has the PS3."

Larxene: "And the XBOX 360."

Roxas: "And the Wii."

Demyx: "And my Spongebob action figure."

**long angry pause at Demyx's expense**

Xemnas: "God damn it Demyx."

Axel "Ah who cares. We've got an XBOX 360. Let's plug that up."

Demyx: "Wha-? You had the money for my various and very necessary heart operations but you decided to spend it all on video games?"

Xemnas: "Now that I think about it, Demyx who let you back in? And in any case I think the first generation was the best."

Xaldin: "Wait, the first generation of video games? How old are you?"

Xemnas: "Very."

Xigbar: "Well I don't know about you but I'm going to talk about Mario out loud as if it's normal. But of course we all know that it's not.

Zexion: "Anyway what do you guys think about Mega Man?"

Vexen: "his last few games sucked ass and that new show he's got out on Toonami Jetstream sucks ass, just like him."

Lexeaus: "I don't know. Being able to become Mega Man is fucking cool!"

Xemnas: **(sighs)** "Lexeaus, go stand in the corner."

Lexeaus: "But I-

Xemnas: "Now, please. Thank you. Well I think MAR is pretty cool. You ever notice that in the right light Alviss looks kinda-

Xaldin: "Well I think The Prince of Tennis is pretty cool. Even though its kind of hard to believe that you can do a whole lot of that crap that they do. Although it would be cool if you could. You ever notice that in the right light Ryoma looks kinda-

Xigbar: "Well Hikaru no Go is pretty interesting. I think it's super special awesome. If only I knew how to play. You guys ever notice that in the right light Hikaru looks kinda-

Xalidn: "Wait I thought you were going to talk about Mario."

Xigbar: "Good point. If I could I would bang Princess Peach and Princess Daisy. At the same time. Tonight."

**once more, a long awkward pause**

Marluxia: "I think it's cool how they put Zatch Bell on Jetstream. I miss that show. I mean I really miss it. Y'know, all those little kids running around. Fighting each other. You ever notice that in the right light Zatch looks kinda fuckable?"

Xemnas: **(to the readers)** "Can you hold on for one second please?"

Xemnas: **(to sharinganrivers)** "What the hell? Why didn't you rake that out?"

sharinganrivers: "I thought it was funny."

Xemnas: "It isn't."

sharinganrivers: "Oh, well."

Xemnas: "Don't do that, okay?"

sharinganrivers: "Eh, we'll see."

Xemnas: "I mean it."

sharinganrivers: "Okay."

Xemnas: **(to Marluxia)** "Don't say that again. Unless it's really, really funny. Really, really funny."

Zexion: "Final Fantasy sucks."

Xigbar: "Let's jump him. If Mario was an electrician I would fuck him twice as hard."

Xemnas: "Stop saying things like that."

Zexion: "Did I say Final Fantasy sucks? I meant Sonic's latest games suck. I mean really badly too."

Saix: "True but then again think about it SEGA was really tying to push it wit the Wii and the XBOX 360."

Vexen: "Where did you and the latter 6 members go to?"

Luxord: "We got ice cream and soda."

Xemnas: "I want ice-cream."

Lexeaus: "I could use a tasty beverage."

Later 

Xemnas: "So Marluxia's a pedophile huh?"

sharinganrivers: "Yep. Why do you think Namine was locked up in Castle Oblivion in the first place?"

Xemnas: "Hmm."

sharinganrivers: "Yeah I've read a bunch of fics on this site about Marluxia raping Namine."

Xemnas: "Really?"

sharinganrivers: "Well not really. But I have read fics where they have sex. He raped her in that one. Did I mention that?"

Xemnas: "No, you didn't."

sharinganrivers: "Well he did."

Xemnas: "Aha."

Xigbar: "Naruto is cool!"

Zexion: "Yu-Gi-Oh! is super special awesome!"

Lexeaus: "My voice gives me super strength!"

Xemnas: "So any way Tales of Symphonia."

Vexen: "Ah, who cares about that game? Let's talk about how Bio-Shock is going to be the best PC game out there."

Xaldin: "What about World of Warcraft?"

Vexen: "Oh wait."

Xigbar: "I say Final Fantasy versus XIII will be simply amazing."

Xemnas: "Why's that?"

Xigbar: "Because it's supposed to play like Kingdom Hearts, only with a few differences. There's a little spoiler for some of you who didn't know."

Xaldin: "What kind of differences?"

Xigbar: "Not sure. Tetsuya Nomura never stated what the differences were supposed to be."

Zexion: "I like pancakes, I like pancakes. They make me a happy Zexion. I like pancakes. Eh, I forget how the rest of the song goes."

Lexeaus: "Hey why did you tie everyone up, Zexion?"

Zexion: "Because Demyx touches himself at night."

Demyx: "YOU SWORE YOU WOUDN'T TELL!"

Xaldin: "Yes well we have more pressing matters. It would seem that our enemy, Baskin Robins, has once more put out new flavors. Named after us! I mean look at this. Crusty old Xaldin flavored ice cream. What? What the hell is this?"

Xemnas: "Hmm it tastes nice to me."

Vexen: "Hold on a second folks I want to check this out."

**Vexen walked outside to see what Baskin Robins was up to. It would seem that they had put up a giant sign: NEW ICE CREAM FLAVORS. FUCK ORGANIZATION XIII  
**

Vexen: "Oh that is it! I am tired of Baskin Robins always doing shit like this. I'm going to get in there and destroy that building from the inside out. I swear on the lives of my unwanted children."

Vexen's son: "Daddy we're hungry."

Vexen: "Get the hell away from me, I don't know you!"

Vexen's daughter: "But we're starving."

Vexen: "Well then ask you're mother for food."

Vexen's son: "We can't."

Vexen' daughter: "She put us up for adoption."

**momentary pause**

Vexen: "Ha, ha, ha, aha, ha! Sucks for you. Well I'll see you guys later. Let's hope the State doesn't separate you."

**---**

**A/N: Damn. Who could have known Vexen could be so hateful towards his kids. Isn't it funny? Huh? Huh? Yeah-well children would just derail this fic and the entire Kingdom Hearts franchise. …Read and review please**


	11. Chapter XI: Movie Time! Sort Of

Chapter XI

After the unfortunate incident with Baskin Robins suing Organization XIII, everyone decided to go to the movies. Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexeaus, and Zexion all got into their apparently stolen car and drove to the theater. On the way…

Zexion: "Are we there yet?"

Xemnas: "No."

Zexion: "Are we there yet?"

Xemnas: "No."

Zexion: "Are we there yet?"

Xemnas: "No."

Zexion: "Are we there yet?"

Xemnas: "No."

Zexion: "Are we there yet?"

Xemnas: "No."

Zexion: "Are we there yet?"

Xemnas: "Yes, Zexion, we're there!"

Zexion: "Liar!"

As they all pulled up to the movie theatre everybody got out the car hungry for expensive movie popcorn and snacks and hungry for a good movie that you won't see on t.v. in five years on basic t.v. because it's so crappy. When everyone entered the theatre Xigbar began to walk stealthy and began shifting his eye back and forth quickly. It would appear that Xigbar was going to try to sneak into the movies. Again. Just like he snuck past Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Mulan in The Land Of Dragons. Remember? You remember.

**three hours later**

Xigbar: "Hey! What did I do, huh? What did I do?"

police officer: "Sir, you're drunk, you interrupted every movie in the theater, and you attacked the people at the concession stand."

Xigbar: "I shouldn't have to butter my own popcorn!"

**later**

Xigbar: "Well, another business destroyed and/or blown up."

Xemnas: "Was that necessary?"

Xigbar: "No, but I wanted to do it anyway."

Lexeaus: "At least we got our buttered popcorn."

Xigbar: "Wait. You got buttered popcorn? You son of a bitch!"

Then the greatest fight in Kingdom Hearts history took place. It was even better than the fight between Xemnas and Riku and Sora. And man that was fucking incredible.

Xemnas: "Yeah I know. I almost had those two."

No you didn't.

Xemnas: "Didn't I?"

No. They beat the crap out of you and the last we saw of you was you holding your chest and reaching out like you were having a heart attack.

Xemnas: "Yeah well that's not how it'll go down in my book."

Vexen: "Who would buy that?"

Xemnas: "My mom bought it."

Vexen: "I saw her returning it to the store in exchange for the new Harry Potter book."

Xemnas: "Yeah, well you're gay!"

Just then Xigbar and Lexeaus made their moves. Xigbar reached into his coat pocket and pulled out Lexeaus' worst enemy. A job application.

Lexeaus: "Oh my God! Get that away from me. That can kill me!"

Xigbar: "What, manual labor?"

Lexeaus: "Exactly! Now get ready. I've got something just for you, Xigbar."

Lexeaus reached for the inside of his jacket and pulled out… 

Xigbar: "Hot water?!"

Lexeaus: "A bucket of hot water."

Xaldin: "Hey Xigbar's melting."

Vexen: "No. His clothes are just shrinking."

Xigbar: "Hey these are dry clean only. And now I'm clean, you bastard."

Vexen steps between the two 

Vexen: "Hey, hey, hey. No clinching, no hitting below the belt, Go!"

Demyx: "Hey guys! I found a garbage dog. See he's here rooting through the trash!"

Xemnas: "How did he get here? Who invited him?"

**A/N: Admittedly this Chapter is a bit lack-luster but it's all I had for right now. Don't worry though the next Chapter will be even better. I know I say that a lot but I really mean it this time.**


	12. Chapter XII: Xaldin's 'Project'

**Chapter XII**

**A/N: Welcome to another chapter of The Organization Adventure. Well folks it's winding down to the last few legs of this here fic. I realize my last Chapter was really lackluster but this one should suffice. I know I say that a lot but this time I really mean it. Really. So either read it or I'll twist your nuts off.**

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**The day after Xigbar and Lexeaus' showdown in the parking lot of the movie theater everyone enjoyed lunch. Everyone but Xaldin was in the dining room eating. From somewhere in the backyard hammers and nails could be heard going. For the most part everyone tried to ignore it. Especially Xemnas who was enjoying his newspaper and the fact he was able to put Demyx into a large sack while in the movie theater parking lot and coax him into putting his head through a hole in the wall through a plaque so it would look like his head was mounted on the wall.**

Demyx: "Can I stop now?"

Xemnas: "Not until I finish pretending to read my newspaper. Hmm, apparently there was some sort of election recently."

**As the hammering and apparently drilling became louder and louder it became almost impossible to ignore it at this point**

Xemnas: "Okay, three hours is long enough!"

**Xemnas got up from his seat and walked outside to find the source of the disturbance. Everyone got up from there seats and followed suit. When they got outside the found Xaldin with a power drill in his left hand drilling into a sheet of metal un-necessarily and a hammer in his right hand senselessly hammering into a board of wood very loudly**

Xaldin: "Those bastards I'll get them to come. This should be loud enough to get those assholes to come outside.

Xemnas: "What the fuck are you doing?"

Xaldin: "What? Nothing?"

Xigbar: "Then why are you doing all this? And what the hell is that thing?"

Xaldin: "That thing-as you so uncharacteristically called it-happens to be my new and improved clubhouse. I had to build a new one since Xemnas destroyed my old one in the park during his last non medicated induced rampage through the city."

Vexen: "Three days ago?"

Xaldin: "Yes."

Demyx: "Isn't there some continuity errors with that? I mean if Zexion was in the hospital, for an unspecified amount of time in Chapter VI, then how can Xemnas have run amuck through the city three days ago?"

Xemnas: "Hey I have a question for you. Who the hell invited you here? How did you get down from the wall? And why won't you shut the fuck up?!"

Demyx: "I don't know Xemnas. I just don't know."

Xemnas: "Come here! Who told you, you could call me by my name?! You can only call me Superior, do you understand me?"

Demyx: "Yes I understand. Please stop hitting me."

Xemnas: "Alright I'll stop for now."

**pause**

Demyx: "Forgive me my friend?"

Xemnas: "Never!!"

Xaldin: "Please people stop. You're ruining the grand reopening of my clubhouse."

Zexion: "How's it a grand reopening if its an entirely new clubhouse?"

Xaldin: "First off shut the hell up. Second welcome everyone to my clubhouse."

Xigbar: "Now that I think about it I don't think you've ever invited us to your clubhouse before, Xaldin."

Xaldin: "Either shut the hell up or go away."

Xigbar: "Fine, fine."

Demyx: "Hey can I join too, guys?"

Xemnas: "Sorry Demyx. Read the sign I just put up: 'No Demyxs'"

Demyx: "But Demyx Matthews is in the club."

Xemnas: "It says no Dem_yxs_. We're allowed to have one."

Xigbar: "Yeah, so piss off you wanker."

Demyx Matthews: "A-hyuck."

**After Demyx was shunned for the umpteenth time everybody went inside of Xaldin's new clubhouse. Except for Demyx Matthews, he said the clubhouse idea was stupid and left. Unfortunately for Demyx he was already back inside so he didn't know that Demyx Matthews left. Or he wanted to watch Judging Amy, whatever.**

Xaldin: "Well guys this is it. Well what do you think?"

Vexen: "It's craptacular."

Xaldin: "Thanks."

Zexion: "Why is the floor sticky?"

Xaldin: "Oh you know what blood can do. Having to use live bears and all."

Xemnas: "I just hope it can keep out the senior citizens. They're still out there and they want their revenge. You know they've been skulking about the mansion for the past week?"

Vexen: "I can see them out there right now. Hmm, that one has an unusually large metal cane in his hand."

Xemnas: "What?"

Xigbar: "That one's got a gun."

Xaldin: "Hey? Back to me here! This is my clubhouse here. This is my special day! Now, would anyone like some cookies?"

Lexeaus: "Oooh sugar cookies."

Xemnas: "Hmm, sugar cookies. **(gasps)** That's it! I can use these cookies to mess with the senior citizens diabetes! Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Xigbar: "Chocolate chip."

Xemnas: "Just as good."

Xaldin: "Chocolate chip? Oh, I see you like the fish eggs I fertilized myself."

Zexion: "Yeah they're pretty good."

Xaldin: "Don't pick your nose Vexen."

Vexen: "I wasn't picking it, God!"

Lexeaus: "Ahhh. That was a good one!"

Xemnas: "What was a good—aww. Oh my God!"

Xigbar: "What the hell?"

Lexeaus: "Ha, ha, ha! Yes! Smell the residue of the bear I just cut up!"

Xaldin: "I just cleaned that!"

**2 hours later**

Xemnas: "Well Xaldin, I've just got to say, Vexen was right this place is craptacular."

Xaldin: "Oh like you could do any better."

Xemnas: "I did. See?"

**Outside everyone saw the even bigger clubhouse that Xemnas made. It really put Xaldin's to shame.**

Xaldin: **(stammering)** Yeah, well…**(stammering)** Screw you guys I'm going home."

Vexen: "What 10 feet?"

Xigbar: "Come on guys let's go over to Xemnas' clubhouse."

everyone except Xaldin: "Hooray!"

Xaldin: "Oh, God damn it!"

South Park ending theme plays 

**---**

**A/N: That was Chapter XII. Only one more Chapter to go until the end. Make sure you see my collaboration fic with Byakuganwalker. It's good stuff. R/R as always please. But don't take up a lot of space in review. Review hogs. You know who you are.**


	13. Chapter XIII: Sendoff

**Chapter XIII**

**A/N: Well this is it. The last Chapter of my first fic. Oh man. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. So I won't…yet. For those of you who have stuck with me to the very end, I thank you sincerely. For those of you ass holes that decided to blow me off at the last second, fuck you too. None-the-less this is it for this fic. Stay tuned for other fics that I have up my sleeves. So…you better watch out, you better not cry. You better not pout I'm telling you why, Xemnas has a gun and has become paranoid that senior citizens are trying to kill him and he has attracted the attention and suspicions of the Government. I'll tell you how it all works when they find him.**

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Xemnas: "Well guys I guess this is it. **(sniffs)** This is the end of The Organization Adventure! What do you guys think? How do you guys feel right now?"

Xigbar: "Oh I'm so sad."

Xemnas: "Because the fic is ending?"

Xigbar: "No, because I just lost for the eighth time on Gears of War."

Xaldin: "I'm sad because me clubhouse was destroyed again!"

Xemnas: "The police gave you a citation because it had so many safety violations. And it was falling apart anyway because of the way you built it."

Xaldin: "I still loved it! Almost like a brother! In fact I used a few pieces of flesh from my brother to make the clubhouse."

Xigbar: "He didn't mind?"

Xaldin: "He didn't have a choice."

Vexen: "Well folks the good news is this fic will end happily. The land sharks are finally gone. From this house. As far as I know they are currently running around in the city and possibly the sewers."

Lexeaus: "Well guys I've got some more good news. I just saved a bunch of money on the car I stole from Xigbar's garage that he stole from that man from the school and the car we stole from the parking lot of the grocery store by switching to GIECO."

Zexion: " I just found a bunch of senior citizens outside burning a giant statue that looked just like you Xemnas."

Xemnas: "What?!"

**Xemnas looked out the shades of the one of the windows and sure enough there was a big crowd of senior citizens burning a giant Xemnas statue like it was burning man.**

Xemnas: "Maybe we should just stay inside from now on. I've got triominoes."

Xigbar: "No one likes that."

Xemnas: "Good, because I'm terrible at math and that thing with all the words."

Zexion: "Reading?"

Xemnas: "Oh! I thought I said not to say that word again?"

**Xemnas strolled over to a chair in the parlor and sat down holding his head as he usually did when the words read, reading, or book came up in a sentence. As he sat in the big squashy chairs that were reminiscent of the ones in the Gryfindor common room.**

Xigbar: "Huh, these are reminiscent of the ones in the Gryfindor common room."

Lexeaus: "Yeah because I stole it from the common room."

Xigbar: "Huh."

Xemnas: "Well since the fic is over I think it would be fun to look back over a few choice moments in Kingdom Hearts history."

Vexen: "You mean the three games?"

Xemnas: "Yeah pretty much. Well let's take a look at this scene first. It's the scene where Xigbar sneaks away from Donald, Goofy, Mulan, and Sora. Let's take a look."

**Xemnas played the video footage on the huge plasma screen that seemed to just appear there for some reason when that space had been previously unoccupied until that truck full of electronics crashed in the middle of the street, when Xigbar shoot out it's tiers. But I digress.**

**Sora, Mulan, Donald, and Goofy ran down a hallway and stopped when they saw a mysteriously hooded stranger. Sora called out "Wait! Are you—Riku?" the man in the hood turned around and lowered his hood. He said "Nope. Never heard of him." Then Sniper Nobodies appeared and while Sora was contemplating what to do he looked over to where Xigbar was previously and found that he was gone. As it turns out instead of Disapparating he simply high tailed it out of the palace by way of cleverly jogging and slinking out of the palace.**

Xemnas: "And stop. Xigbar why exactly were you in China anyway?"\

Xigbar: "Chinese food man. I'm eating some right now see? This stuff is da bomb!"

Xemnas: "Tell you what I won't put you in the kennel if you promise never to say that again."

Xigbar: "No deal."

Xemnas: "Fair enough."

Xigbar: "Well Xemnas since we looked at a video clip of me, why don't we look at one of you? Namely the one when you were talking to Ansem the Wise."

**Xigbar hit play on the remote control and the scene in Kingdom Hearts II when Xemnas and Ansem talked began playing. After it played Xemnas seemed a bit disbelieving.**

Xemnas: "That's not what happened."

Xigbar: "Oh no?"

Xemnas: "No. I'll show you what happened."

**Xemnas pulled out his own video and played it. The video showed the scene where Xemnas and Ansem were talking before Ansem's Kingdom Hearts Encoder exploded. For some reason the two men spoke in stilted dialogue.**

Xemnas: "Well…hello there…Master Ansem. What…are you…doing?"

Ansem: "This is my…Kingdom Hearts Encoder. I'm going to…turn Kingdom Hearts into…data."

Xemnas: "That's lame. But…we're still friends…right?"

**Then the Kingdom Hearts Encoder began to light up signaling it about to blow up. As it began to go Ansem said to Xemnas—**

Ansem: "Xemnas…you are…the biggest disappointment…in my life and I never loved you."

**The Encoder exploded**

Xemnas: **(stilted)**"Noooooo!"

**Xemnas stopped the tape after it finished playing the footage.**

Xemnas: "And that's what really happened."

**incredulous unbelievable pause with everyone staring at Xemnas**

Xigbar: "You ass."

Xaldin: "What ever happened to Tifa after she left the Radiant Garden? I just thought about it. You know, after Cloud and Sephiroth fought."

Xemnas: "Oh that's easy, see when Tifa left after she gave Sora the Fenrir Keyblade she…had amnesia. So I helped her for some time. And I violated her body repeatedly while she slept. And I may have raped her a couple of times, I don't really remember so well after I breathed in the fumes I used to sedate her."

Vexen: "Well interesting rape and/or molesting stories aside, remember when I created that replica of Riku?"

Xigbar: "The Riku Replica?"

Vexen: "Yeah. I remember it like it was yesterday."

Zexion: "Yeah, I remember to! That bastard absorbed me into his body to become 'real'. "

Vexen: "Oh yes, I remember it like it was yesterday. Why I remember sitting him down to teach him many things. Then he went on a violent rampage and um, well, let's just say the death of the Prime Minister of England led to my inspiration of my land sharks. They're not here, are they?"

Xaldin: "Not as far as we know."

Vexen: **(checking everything around him)** "Okay, good, good."

Lexeaus: "Anybody remember the time we tried to take control of Riku and stop Marluxia?"

Zexion: "Yeah and you got your ass kicked by him like a bitch!"

Lexeaus: "You mean like how Riku Replica got you?"

Zexion: "Low blow."

Ansem: "I deserve free money!!"

Xemnas: "What the hell? How did you get here? How did you find us? Why are you here?"

Ansem: "Well you know I was just in town. So I decided to go door to door and ring every doorbell for the next two miles until I found you guys to tell you—I need help! I do cocaine!"

Xemnas: "Yes well Ansem so do I. Except I don't go around calling myself Dr. Rockso the Rock and Roll clown."

Ansem: **(skeptically)** "Neither do I Xemnas."

Xemnas: **(obviously)** "Yes well neither do I. He, he, he."

Xigbar: "You know I don't trust you anymore Xemnas."

Xemnas: "No one ever does."

Ansem: "Well I've just come here to drop off Xemnas' medication. We don't want what happened last time happening again."

Zexion: "You mean him lying to us and saying we're creating Kingdom Hearts to become whole but he really wanted to become a god like being?"

Ansem: "Yes."

Xemnas: "Hey, I did become a god like being. How do you think I got this new black and silver cloak?"

Xaldin: "Speaking of which how come you have a new black and silver cloak and we don't?"

**Oh my God Xemnas, if I were you I would run right now. At that moment everyone but Ansem got up with their weapons in hand moving toward Xemnas menacingly.**

Xemnas: "Wait a minute!! Wait!! A minute, man!! Xaldin has been secretly embezzling books and porn and what not."

Xigbar: "You had porn this entire time? And you didn't tell us? What the fuck's wrong with you?!"

Xaldin: "They were expensive and I had to pay off a prostitute. She threatened to tell everyone about me numerous STIs."

Zexion: "Oh shut up, everyone knows about your STIs. You told everyone when we went to the school."

Xaldin: "I did? That doesn't sound like me."

Lexeaus: "It sounds like me though."

Ansem: "Okay everyone, calm down. Why don't we all give me a sponge bath?"

Vexen: "Okay."

Zexion: "No! Vexen! No."

Xigbar: "Don't you have to take your acne medication Ansem?"

Ansem: "I don't have acne! I have a skin rash and contagious rabies."

Xaldin: "Wow."

Lexeaus: "How much time do we have left Xemnas?"

Xemnas: **(checking his watch)** "Ah, about 3000 years! **(laughs manically)** would you like some smores?"

Lexeaus: "How much time do we really have left?"

Xemnas: "How ever much time it takes to finish this here fic."

Demyx: "I wonder who's better, Organization XIII or the Akatsuki?"

Xemnas: "You know we're better! How many times do I have to beat you before you get it, damn it?!!" 

Xigbar: "Xemnas, calm down, my man. You're scaring Xaldin."

Xaldin: **(in fettle position) **"I hate it when he yells. I don't get my ice cream. As fast."

Lexeaus: "And I don't get my porn."

Vexen: "You have porn?!"

Xigbar: "And you have been with holding it this entire time?! Are you insane?!"

Lexeaus: "Maybe."

Zexion: "You bastard."

Ansem: "Can we get back to me here? Thank you. Now I have tickets to—

Demyx: "I don't know, the Akatsuki are pretty cool. And they're powerful. And they've got people like Itachi and Pain. What?"

Xemnas: "God damn it, Demyx. I just want to beat you with a whip so badly. Soooo fucking badly. The only question is should I do it now or later. And even more importantly with a whip or my aerial blades of fury!"

Xigbar: "Why are you waving your arms like that?"

Xemnas: **(crazily and annoyingly as if he were a mad scientist)** "You mean madly?"

Xigbar: "Yeah."

Xemnas: **(same as above)** "I don't know."

Xigbar: "Yet you're doing it."

Xemnas: **(same as above)** "Yes!"

Xaldin: "Why?"

Xemnas: **(like Gir form Invader Zim)** "I don't know."

Ansem: "Hey, remember the time I helped Riku out of his pit of darkness so he could fight against _you_ guys?"

Lexeaus: "Yeah. I distinctly remember. Yeah, I also remember when he kicked my ass and I had to sacrifice myself and explode in darkness to try and take him with me."

Zexion: "I thought Ansem the Seeker of Darkness, aka Xehanort's Heartless—

Xemnas: "And he is."

Zexion: "Took over Riku's body and killed you?"

Lexeaus: "Yeah, for some reason when Square Enix remade KH: COM for the PS2 they changed that little scenario into what you just said."

Zexion: "Why?"

Lexeaus: "I don't know."

Xemnas: "Remember the time I pistol whipped Demyx with Xigbar's gun arrows? That was great."

Xaldin: "It sure was."

Vexen: "Yeah."

Demyx: "It wasn't great for me!"

Xemnas: "I'll whip you good!!"

Xaldin: "We're getting off topic here, guys. We need to figure out how we're going to get out off this lawsuit with Baskin Robins."

Xemnas: "I'll take the case!"

Xigbar: "You're not a lawyer."

Xemnas: "Aren't I? Aren't I?"

Xigbar: "No."

Xemnas: "So what? Now come on guys. Let's take part in the town's annual sport, Demyx hunting."

Demyx: "What the fuck?"

Xaldin: "Time to start the hunt!"

**Will Demyx be able to survive the hunt? What exactly happened to Ansem the Wise since I just kind of let him hanging there? What will be the Organization's next adventure? Why am I asking you these questions? I don't know. The answers to any of these questions will be in the next fic, so get the fuck out of here. I don't like you and frankly if I could I would come to your house and steal all your stuff. But I'll save that for when I'm selling real estate. So until then I'll see you guys later in my upcoming fics. Thanks for sticking it out with me to the end. So long.**


End file.
